.... this is the entry... this is it: ..... the voice gruff and drunk on a thousand days of stories without plots that go nowhere... a humm in the distance... and everything flattens in a sky that is a pigeon... radios play waves that make heads and mouths move, repeat a sentence, paragraph, a whole story... stories get told in the shadows of night under a full moon, 29.5 days precisely measured by a hand we forget of... 365.25 days... precise measurements to space out days, to complete a revolution on this earth... in it there are signs for those who would think... i thought there was an easy answer, something i could cut and paste into question numbers 1-50. multiple choices for a career, and a dozen opportunities to remake yourself... i did it all wrong... gurukkal already told me... didn't go about it right... i left her... then she left me... but we live inside each other... she feels by breath... i feel her tears... she needed me to be her son... i needed her to be my teacher... this is how it goes in this circle... a circle that goes nowhere... somehow you landed on a thursday... somehow a birthday is a moment for ceasefire... a put the bullets shooting from your mouth to rest for a day... we can go back to it the next day...
this full moon... a wave of snow floods the kitchen of time... dampens the fire cooking spirits into bodies... bodies enter with 900 year old timelines... the bible returns to be history... and there really is no time for this.. but i needed to transcribe the heart molecules that shoot stars and create such a wonderous display that alice could've tread into this region in wonderland... except there is war here... teachers trained like soldiers to cross the lines of students heads, an infantry of math and science and history and english teachers pointing their rifles, uzi-ing their way in year after year...
...this full moon i healed the road i was walking on, used pine pitch and spruce resin, junipers scales and berries to drink and cleanse my kidneys and liver... breathed deep... so i could hear you and hug...
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