...bismillah... the full moon is upon us... and there is no decision to be made... drop everything and worship... the sign of the One... the one tht allows you to reflect o this past month... to reflect it forward... the one that marks time...
...a week ago was the winter solstice... the completion of the earth's cycle around the sun... the sun reaching it's lowest point in the horizon form our geocentric perspective... the tilt begin at it's maximum... the haze of a year behind us facing us in the darkness... in the words that are said in the background of the mind, clouded with anxiety, thoguht, illusion, the belief that this is real... that this is more than it is..
...people die... people i know have died this year... a lot less than the last year... but more than the year before... people i had been close to at some point or another.. suddenly, no longer here... speak their names when i am deep in thought, alone, walking, on the subway, riding words on pages... and they are conjured and no matter how much i write, how fast these hands go, nothing comes of it, i don't know.... i never did... never did know you other than the place that we all meet... LOVE...
...it has been the common ground and it's what i admire most in friends and family i have know over the years... their LOVE, how they show it through generostiy - ALLAH is Infinite, through kindness, through encouragement, through believing in you... through holding you close... through struggling, through innocence through Being fully them which is always a compromise to accommodate the Oneness, as the Oneness requires us to be in community, and the rubiks cube of community requires us to figure out the parts and how they fit...
...this first full moon of the year, my intention grow fulfilled in writing... but not in getting closer to publishing... not in doing it different... want to do it different,... up the risk... have been in observance of the signs like the solstice... but not in full presence and practice with the rituals... not Listening deep enough and being in the moment of the occurrence... have spoke of intention wit LOVE, but have been prioritizing the tie it takes to eat and do mundane...
...this full moon i am reminded of the house and the clinical work, and the 12 seasons you have given us... and that this is not about me... but how i can draw worship to You... of being brhamcharya... rolling like a river of LOVE... int he wheel of seasons of LOVE... so to get more nuanced withe intention of being in this wheel... i communicate times for when the WORK happens... i ask what is the Lover afraid of... and I take the risks neccessary to shift the paradigm...